Posts tagged ‘sex’

May 24, 2011

Jesus summons wave to remove Linsay Lohan’s bikini top – cops a feel

by Ben Hoffman

Jesus, frustrated from his inability to create Armageddon yesterday, decided to have some fun with the nubile young actress Lindsay Lohan. He sent a wave crashing over Lindsay, removing her bikini top, as she cooled off in the Miami surf. And despite clutching her arms across her chest, she could not stop her assets from spilling out.

The troubled actress, who’s currently serving 480 hours community service for stealing a necklace, gasped when she felt the hand of Jesus upon her.