Posts tagged ‘Rush Limbaugh’

May 26, 2011

Judge finds right-wingers unfit to vote

by Ben Hoffman

WASHINGTON, D.C. — A federal judge ruled Wednesday that right-wingers are not mentally competent to vote, affirming accusations of sane people around the country.

The ruling by Judge Harry A. Jefferson of Federal District Court dramatically changes the political landscape in America.

Before the judge’s decision, right-wingers disrupted the hearing with outbursts about socialism, communism, and fascism that seemed to have no contextual relevance. It was found that most of them didn’t know what those words meant. That prompted deputy marshals to order the right-wingers out of the courtroom. Several complained that their First Ammendment Rights were being violated.

It remains possible, legal experts said, that prohibiting right-wingers from voting could have Constitutional issues. “Our goal has always been and always will be allow all sane people to vote,” said Benny K. Mount, a United States attorney, speaking to reporters outside the courthouse. “Allowing insane right-wingers the right to vote, however, is not what our founding fathers had in mind for our country.”

Right-wingers looked haggard and confused after the decision. “The judge is obviously a Marxist,” commented one. “Sarah Palin will save us. She’s really smart,” remarked another. “Where is the Denny’s,” asked another.

Note: This post is a parody.