Posts tagged ‘jesus’

December 23, 2009

Was Jesus An Alien From Outer Space?

by Ben Hoffman

The story goes: a star traveled across the sky and came to rest over Bethlehem. On that day, a virgin woman gave birth to baby Jesus.

Could it be that the witnesses to the event mistook the light in the sky for a star, but what they really saw was a flying saucer — a UFO? Could it be that the martians impregnated Mary with a seed from another world and Jesus was the son of an alien? It goes without saying that the martians were here illegally and therefore Jesus was the child of an illegal alien.

The story also claims Jesus rose from the dead three days after his crucifixion. It is very possible that he was never dead but instead was waiting for the mother ship to rescue him from his insane followers. On that third day, Jesus probably gathered his belongings and got aboard the space ship and traveled to perhaps another galaxy.

On Christmas, it could very well be that Christians around the world are celebrating, not a messiah, but an invasion from outer space. Check out this mosaic of Jesus:

What is that thing around his head? It could very well be a parabolic dish antenna that Jesus used to communicate with the mother ship. Check out this photo of Jesus entering the ship:

The photo clearly shows Jesus entering the bow of what appears to be an opening in the space ship.

And then we have the Shroud of Turin, which some believe shows the face of Jesus at the time of his burial:

Shroud of Turin