Posts tagged ‘apocalypse’

May 25, 2011

New date for Apocalypse

by Ben Hoffman

According to Harold Camping, May 21 was an “invisible judgement day.” It happened but it was just low key. Rather than evoking huge disasters to signal the Apocalypse and six months of hell on earth, God instead will throw a huge party on October 21, full of massive earthquakes and other disasters.

“I was afraid no one would notice,” God said this morning. “It’s only been two months since my earthquake generated the tsunami that wreaked havoc in Japan. I’ve unleashed tornadoes on southern U.S. states decimating several cities and I’m not through with those disasters yet. An Apocalypse at this time might not even make front page news, so why bother?”

Harold Camping made a fortune by capitalizing on the fears of religious nuts and this gives him more time to rake in the money. There’s good money to be made preaching fear and hatred. Just look at the wealth Sarah Palin has amassed in the past few years.

May 21, 2011

The Rapture has begun: 34 earthquakes reported so far

by Ben Hoffman


The numbers don’t lie. It’s the end of days. In about another 30 minutes, good Christians in the eastern time zone will begin ascending into heaven. The rest of us (especially us Jews) will begin our descent into hell. AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!