Things Conservatives Hate

by Ben Hoffman

Conservatives are not creators; they leave that up to the imaginary being in the sky. They do nothing but destroy. So I thought I’d make a list of things conservatives hate. (Feel free to add to this list.)

Things conservatives hate

  • High-speed rail transportation
  • Anything done that doesn’t make a profit
  • Green energy
  • Democrats
  • Barack Obama
  • Democracy in the United States (because sometimes the other party gets elected)
  • Tax cuts when proposed by Democrats (the Stimulus was 1/3 tax cuts)
  • Atheists
  • Gays (unless they’re self-hating gays like Larry Craig)
  • Legitimate economists (because they always contradict the conservative ideology)
  • Being told they have to buy insurance, even if they already have insurance (they just don’t like being told to do it)
  • Higher education (only the elite should be educated)
  • Science (it’s too hard)
  • Taxes. They’d rather see our infrastructure crumble than have to pay taxes (this would be number 1 if these were in order)
  • Not being at war (Conservatives love to bomb other countries where they get to destroy all sorts of things)
  • Publicly funded art projects
  • Publicly funded TV and radio programs
  • Social Security (unless they’re old enough to collect)
  • Medicare (unless they’re old enough or disabled so they can collect)
  • Any news outlet that doesn’t spin the news to the right
  • Regulation that restricts pollution
  • The environment (unless it involves property where they get to kill animals)
  • The minimum wage ($3 a day is plenty for workers like they’re paid in China)
  • Communism or socialism (unless it’s in other countries where U.S. corporations can exploit their workers)
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26 Comments to “Things Conservatives Hate”

  1. You forgot immigrants.

    Rather than letting folks come here to work (ie, “take our jobs”) they’d rather layoff the workforce here and send the jobs there.

  2. You left “conservation” off the list.

    And “rock and roll music, or any form of modern, popular music, including folk, hip-hop, and jazz” because it’s made by people of color, and it’s too much like having a good time.

    And classical music, because it’s written by furriners, and made by symphonies, who often get grants from foundations and the National Endowment for the Arts

    And NPR and PBS, because they don’t like information they don’t control and they don’t like being reminded about what they don’t know;

    And Big Bird, Elmo, and Oscar the Grouch, because they represent the best television in the world for children, and they hate to think government aid to anything might actually be beneficial; plus, no one will vote to kill Big Bird, so they can’t kill PBS.

  3. I’m conservative but I don’t hate several things on that list. Certainly not hate science — my bread and butter! And I certainly don’t hate Obama, Democrats, gays, atheists, etc, just because I can differ with them on some key issues. There are other grounds & issues on which we do and can agree on. Some people in some of the groups listed above would probably also ‘hate,’ or oppose is a better word, a number of things on that list. For example, many Democrats and not atheist and do not support gay marriage — California being largely a Democrat state has gone back and forth on Proposition 8.

  4. That’s a tough question to answer in short order. But briefly, I would say generally lower taxes; smaller gov’t (but not as small as Ron Paul advocates); opposed to Obamacare (its intrusiveness on people, budget draining; now being consider by the Supreme Court); for a strong US military; interventionist (in moderation!) to secure our national interests and security overseas; pro-life or at least for minimizing abortions; marriage is between men and women; and whole bunch more.

    • Okay, now a really tough question… Do you think those things are good for our country or is it just emotional?

      • Just FYI, our huge debt is the result of the Bush tax cuts, the two wars, Medicare Part D, reduced revenues due to high unemployment, increased payouts for unemployment benefits, and the Obama tax cuts. Those facts can be validated by reading analyses by legitimate economists. You won’t that information on Newsmax, or Fox “news,” though.

        The housing bubble and bust were the result of Republican deregulation and lending rule changes — also verifiable by economists.

        Obamacare has already helped many small businesses and those with pre-existing conditions. Being told to buy insurance when you already have insurance is a purely emotional issue.

        And do you really think banning abortion would be good for our country?

  5. Oh my, you’re covering too much ground in just one post. I prefer to take one issue at a time. Sorry I can’t get into all of these without disappointing you by just making contrary counterclaims, which you’ll no doubt find unsatisfactory. I’ll just take one of them, though.

    From what I’ve read and heard, economists differ in their interpretations regarding the various economic parameters (esp. when trying to explain causes) — I’ve seen enough debates between them on interviews to know. There is some degree to which political ideology affects one’s outlook. But maybe one quick thing about the debt being ascribed to the factors you raised, I would tend to think that that causal explanation is not entirely persuasive, or at least it isn’t as clear, in view of the fact that the debt has been rising sharply at a nearly constant rate since around 1970s — well before those factors that you cited came into play (even when we did not have a war under Clinton’s two terms). Whether we had a Democratic gov’t or Republican, it made no difference: the debt function just kept rising and rising. The debt chart shows this:
    http://www.brillig.com/debt_clock/history.gif
    Prosperous Western nations tend to have high debts.
    Maybe the other issues you mentioned can be covered when their time comes. (Btw, I don’t watch FOX.)

    • Oh my, you’re covering too much ground in just one post. I prefer to take one issue at a time.

      There was just one question: “Do you think Republican policies have been good for our country?”

      in view of the fact that the debt has been rising sharply at a nearly constant rate since around 1970s

      With that statement, you clearly answered why you are a Republican; you can’t even read a simple graph. The rise is anything but constant. The graph shows a sharp increase during the 80s that continued until the mid-90s where it flattens out. Then it takes off like a rocket in the 2000s. Even the staunchest conservative economists agree with that.

      Only in Republicanistan could someone believe that our debt growth rate has been constant. It’s a place where up is down, black is white, and Republicans are patriots. It’s a land of pure fantasy.

  6. I think you misunderstood, I said (nearly) constant RATE! For example, if you plot the function y = 100x + 3, it’s a sharply rising graph – with constant rate, namely 100. (The rate is dy/dx.) So, we do not disagree with the sharp rise in the graph.

    Your question: “Do you think Republican policies have been good for our country?”
    I would say generally yes, bearing in mind that no system – esp. political – will have the perfect solution. Each system has its flaws and pros — esp. when you have to lead a nation of 300 million people. And you will have periods when a system is more successful than at other periods.

    • For example, if you plot the function y = 100x + 3, it’s a sharply rising graph – with constant rate, namely 100.

      Of course if you plot a line it’s going to be constant; it’s a line! Only in Republicanistan would somebody use the formula for a line to calculate deviation.

  7. Sounds like bullying – not an attempt to discuss things intelligently.

  8. How can I? I’m university math prof! So I do know what I’m talking about.

    • Math in itself is useless unless you know how to apply it. In this case, you’d use standard deviation for the statistical analysis. Or just look at the graph. You’re also a Jew who believes that Christ is your savior. That makes you crazy.

  9. No, the standard deviation is not relevant to simply noting that the debt graph has been rising over the last 30+ years, regardless of the “Bush tax cuts, the two wars, …” — That’s the point.

    I take your comment on Jesus with humor. It does take ‘crazy’ people like us to make the world a better place. You can bet your horses on that one, buddy.

    • debt graph has been rising over the last 30+ years, regardless of the “Bush tax cuts

      Actually, it’s been rising for 50 years. But there are sharp spikes correlated with the Reagan and Bush tax cuts.

      It does take ‘crazy’ people like us to make the world a better place.

      Yeah, how do you do that? By causing high unemployment? Invading other countries? Cutting funds for schools and higher education? Deregulating industries to the point where they cause a global economic collapse? Allowing industries to pollute our environment?

      Only in Republicanistan do people think the conservatives make the world a better place. The rest of us see the pain and suffering caused by Republican policies.

      Plus, your fellow Jews think you’re crazy for believing in Jesus. You know what that makes you? A Christian.

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