Judge finds right-wingers unfit to vote

by Ben Hoffman

WASHINGTON, D.C. — A federal judge ruled Wednesday that right-wingers are not mentally competent to vote, affirming accusations of sane people around the country.

The ruling by Judge Harry A. Jefferson of Federal District Court dramatically changes the political landscape in America.

Before the judge’s decision, right-wingers disrupted the hearing with outbursts about socialism, communism, and fascism that seemed to have no contextual relevance. It was found that most of them didn’t know what those words meant. That prompted deputy marshals to order the right-wingers out of the courtroom. Several complained that their First Ammendment Rights were being violated.

It remains possible, legal experts said, that prohibiting right-wingers from voting could have Constitutional issues. “Our goal has always been and always will be allow all sane people to vote,” said Benny K. Mount, a United States attorney, speaking to reporters outside the courthouse. “Allowing insane right-wingers the right to vote, however, is not what our founding fathers had in mind for our country.”

Right-wingers looked haggard and confused after the decision. “The judge is obviously a Marxist,” commented one. “Sarah Palin will save us. She’s really smart,” remarked another. “Where is the Denny’s,” asked another.

Note: This post is a parody.

11 Responses to “Judge finds right-wingers unfit to vote”

  1. Love the name change!

  2. Just remember what happened to Henry Louis Mencken’s little hoax.

  3. For more on this right wing phenom…..see:

  4. Mr. Hoffman ,

    So you believe right wingers do not deserve to vote . Where do you come down on the issue of age weighting votes ? Your fellow left winger Ezra Klein believe that youth voters should be given more voting power per person than say an old guy , , , like you . You geezers apparently are ruining the country .

    • Maybe you should learn how to read.

      Some people seem to think I’m advocating reweighting votes by age. I’m not. I’m pointing out that weighting votes by state, which is what we currently do, doesn’t make any more sense.

  5. Mr. Hoffman ,

    I have a different source .

  6. Mr. Hoffman ,

    ” Some people seem to think Iā€™m advocating reweighting votes by age. Iā€™m not. ”

    That is Klein having a Gingrich moment and having to backtrack to cover himself . He put it out there as an out of the box idea .


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