Californian Republican Marilyn Davenport, 74, who sent out an email depicting President Barack Obama’s face on the body of a baby chimpanzee, issued an apology late Monday after a weekend of criticism. “I didn’t stop to think about the historic implications and other examples of how this could be offensive,” Davenport’s apology read.
At a press conference, Davenport went on to say, “We all know that Negroes are very, very averse to work of any kind. The Negroes’ most prominent anatomical feature, after all, its oversized buttocks, which have evolved to make it more comfortable for them to sit around all day doing nothing for its entire life.”
Lightening then struck a nearby tree.
“That does it…,” God spoke. “You’re going to hell, Davenport. You and the rest of your hate-filled lying ass right-wing lard-ass friends will have a special placed reserved for you in the valley of eternal torments of the damned. And don’t even think about redemption. You can go to your stupid little churches all you want and pray to Jebus, but you’re all going to rot in hell. Neener, freakin’, Neener.”