Todd Palin admits to screwing hookers

by Ben Hoffman

Former Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin recently confirmed an anonymous tabloid report that her husband, Todd, had been involved with a “massage therapist” who was running some sort of prostitution ring in Anchorage.

During an interview with Alaska-based radio program “The Bob and Mark Morning Show,” she called the allegations, made in the National Enquirer, “a true thing” and “that’s my Todd for ya” and said that she was somewhat befuddled by things that make sense to most people.

The Anchorage newspaper quoted Todd as saying, “Have you heard Sarah’s voice? God, it’s so annoying that I can’t even get it up any more with her. So I bought a hooker!”

“What hurts are the lies that come from Alaskans,” Sarah said responding to a question about how she felt about her low favorability ratings in her home state. “Look, I know I’m a complete wacko. I wouldn’t want to !@#$% me either!”

Earlier this week, the Anchorage Police Department investigated the matter and confirmed the allegations about Todd Palin, telling the New York Daily News that the Enquirer was “dead on” in their reporting.

But Palin seemed miffed that the situation ended up having to be addressed by the authorities.

“Heck, all they had to do was ask me or ask Todd himself, ‘Hey Todd, you been !@#$%ing hookers in Anchorage?’ and he’d tell them yes-sir-re-bob,” Palin said.

4 Comments to “Todd Palin admits to screwing hookers”

  1. I think you need to make an appointment to see a doctor about this flare up of Palin Derangement Syndrome.
    Or at least go have a beer with Jon Edwards.

  2. I can’t be offended by you, dearie.
    You’re not worth it.
    At worst I can laugh AT you.

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