Jan Brewer’s heart is broken over shooting (and her face isn’t in such good shape, either!)

by Ben Hoffman

Arizona Gov. Jan Brewer says she’s heartbroken by the shooting of U.S. Rep. Gabrielle Giffords and others in Tucson and says the whole state is saddened.

“It’s proof that we need to seal our borders,” Jan said. “Obviously the shooter was a Mexican here to sell drugs. I don’t believe he had any illegal alien papers.”

Jan Brewer then swallowed some type of medication with a drink of what some standing close by said smelled like tequila.

“There are headless corpses all over Arizona,” Brewer continued, swaying slightly. “These illegal aliens need to be locked up in private prisons built by Corrections Cruper-shuns… Corper-shooosh… he he he…. *giggle* They need to be locked up by CCA, in which I have absolutely no financial interest.”

Brewer, formerly Janice Kay Drinkwine, is one of the more highly educated teabaggers, having graduated from community college. Jan Drinkwine married John Brewer at the Jack Daniels Distillery. In attendance were Ralph Shootsmack and Mary Smokecrack.

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One Comment to “Jan Brewer’s heart is broken over shooting (and her face isn’t in such good shape, either!)”

  1. If such an idiot could actually gain the majority of votes cast for governor, I’d say that Jared Loughner isn’t Arizona’s only dangerous lunatic!

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