New Social Studies and History Guidelines: A DrudgeRetort Exclusive!

by Ben Hoffman

Today, the Texas State Board of Educations adapted new social studies and history guidelines. We got a copy of the textbook outline and are sharing it with our readers.

Social Studies and History

1. Reagan — the early years.

Students will study Reagan’s childhood and how he became the best actor in history.

2. Reagan — Governor of California

Students will learn how Reagan suppressed the anti-American war protesters by bringing in the National Guard to occupy the University of California.

3. Reagan — President of the United States

Students will learn how the greatest president of all time created the biggest economic boom in the history of the world by cutting taxes. They will also learn how liberals tripled the federal deficit. They will learn how Reagan single-handedly brought down communism and the Soviet Union.

4. Reagan Anointed Sainthood

Although, not formally given sainthood by the church, real Americans (Republicans) have anointed Ronald Reagan sainthood and commonly refer to him as St. Ronnie.

5. Jimmy Carter: Worst American President or worst President in the history of the world?

Food for thought. Students will learn critical thinking by evaluating President Jimmy Carter.

6. Old Testament

Students will learn how the earth was formed 6,000 years ago.

7. New Testament and the 2nd Amendment to the Constitution

Students will learn how Jesus would have owned an assault rifle if they were invented back then.

8. The Democrat Great Recession: How Freddie Mac and Fannie May destroyed our economy.

Students will learn how Barney Frank and other liberals created a deep recession and how Republicans worked to restore our economy.

10. Other great Americans

Other great Americans will be studied such as Newt Gingrich, Joe McCarthy, Arthur Laffer, Adam Smith, George W. Bush, Sarah Palin, and Joe the Plumber.

6 Comments to “New Social Studies and History Guidelines: A DrudgeRetort Exclusive!”

  1. And throw in contemporary philosopher Rand Paul at no. 10!

  2. You left out Phyllis Schafley! So you might want to add to your list:

    LEARN why wives should be subservient to their husbands cuz that’s what god wants.

    I just figured out the Rand Paul/Ayn Rand connection today. I am simply da duh!!

  3. Ms. Holland,

    ” LEARN why wives should be subservient to their husbands cuz that’s what god wants ”

    If God had wanted that, wives would have come with mute buttons or at least a volume control on the nagging feature .

    Why do husbands die before wives? They want to .

  4. What I find saddest about this is that even though it is posted as satire, it comes very close to describing what a vast swath of the RightWing faction in this country believes and would want to have public school students taught.

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