Laura Bush Tells All In New Book

by Ben Hoffman

Former U.S. first lady Laura Bush is going public about a car crash in Midland, Texas, that claimed the life of a high school friend when she was 17.

In her new book, “Spoken from the Heart,” she describes how after getting “sh*tfaced” at a friend’s party, she plowed into another car on her way home, killing the driver.

“We were drinking boilermakers while playing strip poker. I was completely naked and fall-down drunk. I should never have taken those Quaaludes after that, but those were the 60s. Free love. Sex, drugs, and rock-and-roll! Those were fun times!

So around 2:00 in the morning, I decided to go home. It took me like 10 minutes just to remember how to start the car. Man, I was sh*tfaced. How I made it as far as I did before running into somebody is a credit to my ability to handle drugs and alcohol. I could drink almost anyone under the table, as George would find out.

So anyway, on the way home, I stopped at like three stop signs. The forth one I said “f*ck it” and just barreled on through. There just happened to be another car going through at the same time. Just one of those things. My car got totaled and the driver of the other car died. We both suffered.”

Laura Bush bristles at criticism thrown at her husband, former President George W. Bush.

“It’s not George’s fault he fucked up the country. The American people voted for him!

Well, the Supreme court handed him the presidency in 2000, but then the American people re-elected him! What f*ckin’ morons!”

She says his New Orleans flyover after Hurricane Katrina was in the best interest of victims and aid workers.

She criticizes Democrats for calling her husband “an incompetent leader” and a “loser.” She says that was “uncalled for.”

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7 Comments to “Laura Bush Tells All In New Book”

  1. Very Classy.

  2. Mr. Hoffman,

    I don’t recall you disrespecting First Lady Michelle Obama . As far as what you did to the former First Lady Laura Bush, you really have let your irrational hatred and your overwhelming desire to win get the better of your judgment . You have smeared Mrs. Bush . However the result reflects more on you than her . There really should be a well paying job for you at MSNBC .

    • [you really have let your irrational hatred and your overwhelming desire to win get the better of your judgment .]

      I’d say it’s very rational to have disdain for people who do bad things to our country.

      [There really should be a well paying job for you at MSNBC .]

      I can only hope. 🙂

    • “I’d say it’s very rational to have disdain for people who do bad things to our country”.

      I posted some of this on my blog. Have a great weekend!

  3. Mr. Hoffman,

    ” [There really should be a well paying job for you at MSNBC .]”

    ” I can only hope ”

    I think you could take Mr. Ed’s spot . I see a lot of similarities . Management seems to like Psycho Dork Olbermann too much for you to get a shot there . As a woman Rachael Maddow is not vulnerable . Too bad you are not African American, but as a Hindhu Secular Jew, you could definitely threaten Ed Schultz.

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