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Pope Finds Words Of God Boring – Falls Asleep

by Ben Hoffman

“In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God.

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He was in the beginning with God. All things were made through Him, and without Him nothing was made that was made.

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In Him was life, and the life was the light of men.

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And the light shines in the darkness, and the darkness did not comprehend it.”

ZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

And when the guy sitting next to the Pope in an equally silly outfit told him to wake up, Pope Benedict XVI flung his arm out and yelled “Heil Hitler!”

Posted on April 18, 2010 at 9:50 PM in Education, Politics   |  RSS feed |   Reply   |   Trackback URL

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25 Comments to “Pope Finds Words Of God Boring – Falls Asleep”

    
  1. sleepygirl
    April 19, 2010 at 12:05 PM

    This is TOO FUNNY!! I think the Church needs to stop choosing old men as popes. We need some younger blood in there…or at least someone who can stay awake!

    Reply
  2. Alan Scott
    April 20, 2010 at 8:33 PM

    I wonder how lively you guys will be in Church when you turn 83 . Wait, you guys don’t go to Church,, do you ? You guys will have brown stains on your white wings when you are trying to get into heaven someday and that sleepy old man is checking references at the gate .

    Reply
    • Vern R. Kaine
      April 21, 2010 at 3:29 PM

      Come on, Alan, like he’s never mocked or gotten upset at someone sleeping at Sunday Mass! I’m sure even the Pope cracks a joke or at least smiles at a joke or two at an atheist’s expense (or Jehovah’s Witness, or Mormon, or Baptist, or…) He is human, after all.

      Reply
    • sleepygirl
      April 21, 2010 at 6:14 PM

      Oh for goodness sakes, Alan. Grow a sense of humor! I’m sure even the Pope knows how to laugh at himself.

      Reply
    • Ben Hoffman
      April 21, 2010 at 6:41 PM

      [You guys will have brown stains on your white wings when you are trying to get into heaven someday and that sleepy old man is checking references at the gate .]

      I’m a Buddhist so I get to be reincarnated, unless I’m in China when I die where reincarnation is outlawed.

      Reply
    • The Arbourist
      April 24, 2010 at 9:12 AM

      You guys will have brown stains on your white wings when you are trying to get into heaven someday

      I would want no part of a heaven ruled by the megalomaniac described in the various religious mythos. It is repugnant.

      sleepy old man is checking references at the gate .

      If blind acceptance of ‘wisdom’ and uncritical thinking are necessary to pass the gate, many would not be accepted into ‘heaven’.

      Reply
  3. Alan Scott
    April 21, 2010 at 8:17 PM

    Verne R. Kaine,

    ” Come on, Alan, like he’s never mocked or gotten upset at someone sleeping at Sunday Mass! ”

    How would you know that ? Have you ever been to Mass with the Pope ? Maybe you have, how would I know ?

    Sleepygirl,

    ” Oh for goodness sakes, Alan. Grow a sense of humor! I’m sure even the Pope knows how to laugh at himself. ”

    You’re sure ? You must know the Pope even better than Verne . I bet he cracks up when you tell the Hitler Youth jokes .

    Mr. Hoffman,

    ” I’m a Buddhist so I get to be reincarnated, unless I’m in China when I die where reincarnation is outlawed. ”

    I am not well versed in Buddhism, so I have to ask whether the life you lead now affects what you come back as ? Even Buddhists must think it is wrong to mock a Religious leader . Wouldn’t it be funny, if as punishment you came back as say a mouse, or worse a Republican . 🙂

    Reply
    • Ben Hoffman
      April 22, 2010 at 9:23 AM

      [Even Buddhists must think it is wrong to mock a Religious leader . ]

      Come on, the asshole protected pedophile priests who raped young boys. He should be in prison.

      [Wouldn’t it be funny, if as punishment you came back as say a mouse, or worse a Republican .]

      Reincarnation is almost as ridiculous a concept as belief in heaven and hell. It’s also not what the Buddha taught.

      Mahayana and Vajrayana Buddhists took the Buddha’s teachings and modified them to suit their needs — kind of like the Christians did with the Bible. Tibetan Buddhists, such as the Dalai Lama, follow the Mahayana and Vajrayan teachings.

      Personally, I prefer Theravada Buddhism, which is the oldest form and most closely follows the teachings of the Buddha.

      Reply
    • Moe
      April 25, 2010 at 12:20 PM

      How is it wrong to mock a religious leader? Are they not human just like the rest of us? I guess you would support ‘my leader – right or wrong!’ Are Muslims wrong to criticize the extremists among their leaders?

      Reply
  5. Alan Scott
    April 22, 2010 at 3:29 PM

    Mr. Hoffman,

    ” Come on, the asshole protected pedophile priests who raped young boys. ”

    Making fun of him for falling asleep was a cheap shot . I don’t know all of the circumstances but, at least you are finally making strong arguments .

    ” Personally, I prefer Theravada Buddhism, which is the oldest form and most closely follows the teachings of the Buddha. ”

    So is this a religion, or just a Philosophy to live your life by ? And did Buddha call people “assholes ” ? I always thought it was some kind of peace and love thing .

    Reply
  6. Alan Scott
    April 22, 2010 at 8:06 PM

    Mr. Hoffman,

    I know this is changing the subject, but what do you think of the Navy Seal being acquitted in the beating of a terrorist captive ?He was on trial for not preventing the beating .

    Reply
    • Ben Hoffman
      April 22, 2010 at 10:31 PM

      Well, he probably should have prevented the beating if he could have, but the prisoners deserved it if they murdered the contractors, but I don’t care much for the contractors in the first place. We shouldn’t be privatizing our military.

      In other words, the whole situation is a mess.

      Reply
  7. Alan Scott
    April 23, 2010 at 6:24 PM

    Mr. Hoffman,

    I believe a second Navy Seal was found not guilty . There IS a GOD .

    Reply
  8. Alan Scott
    April 24, 2010 at 11:34 AM

    Mr. Hoffman,

    ” You have a very strange imaginary god ” Same one you had, when you were still Jewish .

    Reply
  9. Alan Scott
    April 24, 2010 at 4:35 PM

    Mr. Hoffman,

    My God makes good spaghetti. I have not done an official count, but I believe there are more Churches in my town than bars . Some of the Churches are near the century mark and older . As the older populations have died out, new people are coming in . Bars aren’t doing so good .

    My wife and I just got back from an all you can eat spaghetti dinner at a Church that I’ve past for decades but was never in . It must be President Obama’s inspiration that is causing the Christians to do so well. All denominations .

    So how you Buddhists doing ? Got any Community outreaches going ? Any youth groups ? Sponsoring any group homes in Tibet, any do gooder activities in the third World ? Any do gooder stuff at all ?

    Reply
  10. Alan Scott
    April 25, 2010 at 8:03 AM

    Mr. Hoffman,

    Well at least the Red Chinese are doing something for the Tibetan Buddhists . Just thought as a fellow Buddhist you’d want to keep up on this stuff .

    http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2010/04/24/AR2010042400724.html?hpid=sec-religion

    ” Authorities were planning to repair the 87 monasteries damaged by the quake, Xinhua said. The vast majority of Yushu’s residents are Tibetan and most are deeply devout Buddhists. The area has 238 monasteries with more than 23,000 monks, Xinhua said. “

    Reply
  11. Alan Scott
    April 25, 2010 at 2:54 PM

    Mr. Hoffman,

    By the way . What is a secular Jew ?

    Reply
    

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